20/20 Vision: Contagious Ascension

A vision for what remains of 2020 and beyond

He was just days old. Our beautiful new baby boy, swaddled and sleeping soundly in his crib whilst I relaxed in my hospital bed, blissfully reverent of the miracle of nature (and a little smug despite the lingering pain and discomfort) in the afterglow of having birthed my 10lbs babe through my marvellous body. I was also revelling in the restful lack of nagging responsibilities facing my husband and I, that would otherwise be filling our minds if we were at home, not being fed and tended to. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the silence was broken with an unexpected, seemingly misplaced, divinely adorable sound. Stunned and confused, my head whipped in the direction of my baby, then my jaw dropped in amazement; my newborn boy was doing the seemingly impossible: asleep, and obviously dreaming, he was emitting a fit of giggles. Giggles! Those sweet baby giggles that melt your heart in the way only the laughter of a small child can. It lasted only a few seconds, but there was absolutely no mistaking it. My husband and I were in a state of delighted astonishment, realising our bundle of joy had just expressed he was exactly that – joyful. It’s a precious memory that warms my heart in the most profound way, knowing my baby boy was, from the very beginning of his earthly journey, beyond all logically understood capacity, joyful in his beingness.

Back at home a week or so later, I retrieved the borrowed name book from the bookcase. Given we’d chosen our baby’s name simply because we liked it, it occurred to me to look up the meaning before returning the book to its owner. I flicked through the pages, until I found it:

Isaac: from the Hebrew name Yitzchaq, meaning “he will laugh, he will rejoice”¹.

This remarkable tale makes me both smile and awe at the mysteries of life. I love that I have such a wondrous anecdote to share, guaranteed to amaze and delight. But more than that, I love how this experience is such undeniable – to my mind – evidence of the mystical nature of how the Universe/God/Source/Higher Power communicates with us, if we’re open to receiving. I can see how easily such an occurrence – a newborn living up to his given name in such an improbable manner – could be written off as mere coincidence or fluke, how it couldn’t be scientifically validated as meaningful. No doubt there’s someone out there willing to burst my bubble and give me a logical explanation of why it wasn’t actually legitimate laughter or true expression. And yet something of its incredibility, synchronicity, and mystery appeals to a deeper part of me; it fascinates me, and feels sacred and significantly meaningful, and in its way it imprinted the healing my relationship with my beautiful boy brings me every day.

A few years after this experience, I learned about the concept of “nominative determinism” from Rebecca Campbell, who describes the phenomenon as “when people’s names fit their calling or purpose in life, like little clues from the heavens.”² It reminded me of the experience with my son, and the idea appealed to me enormously, so I began investigating the meaning behind my own names.

Rachael (given name): Hebrew for ewe, a female sheep³.

Louise (middle name): Feminine form of the French Louis, from the Latin Ludovicus, from the German Ludwig (composed of the elements “hlud” meaning famous and “wig” meaning war or battle), from the Germanic Chlodovech; Louise means famous female warrior.⁴ A warrior is defined as a person engaged or experienced in warfare, or alternately a person who shows great vigour, courage or aggressiveness.⁵ Courage is defined as the quality of bravery that enables a person to face difficulty without fear.⁶ It’s derived from Middle English corage, from Anglo-French curage, equivalent to coer meaning heart, from the Latin cor⁷; this etymology explains an earlier definition of courage: the heart as the source of emotion.⁸

Barker (maiden surname): An English occupational name for a tanner, derived from the Middle English bark(en), referring to someone who converts animal hide to leather using the bark of trees as a tanning agent.⁹ Tanning involves a process which permanently alters the protein structure of skin, making it more durable and less susceptible to decomposition, also possibly colouring it.¹⁰^{, 1}¹ Another (informal) definition of the word tan is to thrash or whip.¹² Barker is also an English occupational name for a shepherd.¹³

Stella (married surname): Italian (derived from Latin) for star.¹⁴ Dictionary definitions of star describe self-luminous celestial bodies, visible in the clear night sky as fixed, twinkling points of light.¹⁵

At the time, I didn’t have the insight to decipher and apply these meanings thoroughly, but my basic attempt was I used to be a follower (sheep), and as I matured I rebelled (warrior) and began to forge my own path toward the light (star). And all along the way, as regularly corroborated by the many people who told me “You’re so hard on yourself!”, I was adept at giving myself a darned thorough mental flogging (tanning).

Whilst I’ve long appreciated symbolism and hidden meaning, and deep thinking has always come naturally, my spiritual path has allowed me to develop a capacity to decipher the messages available in virtually anything I perceive. I recognise I can utilise my intuition as a guide in discerning meaning, from amongst endless possibilities, that resonates with truth for me.

Reviewing the meaning and etymology of my names, with the increased insight time and experience have gifted me, I have a renewed take on my nominative determinism:

Rachael: In the early years of my life I followed the crowd, not quite fitting in but desperate to be just like everyone else. I was terrified of my weird uniqueness being exposed, believing it to be shameful, and so I denied and endeavoured to hide it. I attempted to blend in like a sheep in the flock, in the best way I knew how, hoping desperately it would offer protection from my mortifying strangeness being revealed. My efforts felt excruciatingly in vain; my peculiar physical appearance regularly drew notice and comment, I felt like I didn’t know how to behave and conform to social norms, and I had a confusingly conflicting yet uncontrollable urge to put myself within the centre of attention. Despite all efforts to blend in, I was the black sheep in a flock of white.

Louise: As I learn and evolve, I’m becoming a warrior; my strength and courage is in forging the self-acceptance to come out of hiding and speak my mind by telling all of my heart. I increasingly recognise my need to be seen is a valid and valuable aspect of my purpose as I use my voice, distinct from the urge to be in the spotlight that was a manifestation of denying and suppressing my need. I’m a black sheep, departed from the old flock. I’ve found my flock where I feel I truly belong, whilst concurrently owning my uniqueness as part of my power.

Barker: In the beginning, my (Barker) family of origin shepherded me in my sheep-like ways. They also gave me the gift of experiences that served to thicken my skin, and coloured much of my perception of life through familial conditioning and loving. I used to psychologically self-flagellate, but as I spiritually and emotionally evolve I gradually depart from the habit, as I have relinquished the use of my maiden name and increasingly identified with my married surname.

Stella: I have grown to recognise my inherent divinity. In doing so, I radiate my inner light that then guides others as they navigate their way through the dark to discovering they too possess the same divine light within themselves.

This stuff is utterly fascinating to me. It’s not a precise science, but rather a playful intuitive exploration, and the interpretations derived are variable and dependent on the interpreter. I could have elucidated from the meaning of Louise I’m a fighter, destined for warfare. But that didn’t resonate; I reject the notion of taking sides, and I don’t even believe in fighting “the good fight.” Instead I looked deeper and sought a meaning that did resonate. The definition of star included “a hot gaseous mass that radiates energy” – that could be interpreted in a most unflattering light, so I chose not to take that onboard! Whilst I’ve relinquished the use and much of the symbolism of my maiden name, that doesn’t mean all other Barkers are doomed in their nominative determinism – there are positive interpretations available, relevant to the uniqueness of the individual.

The point is, we all make sense of our own individual experience of life from our own one-of-a-kind perspective. The internal stories we create through our various perceptions give meaning to, colour and inform our experience of life. As author Andrew Holecek describes so succinctly, perception is creation.¹⁵

As I’ve grappled with the challenges borne of the global events these past weeks, I’ve yearned for relief from the uncomfortable and unpleasant emotions triggered with regularity. Whilst traversing the lows of the emotional roller coaster, a part of me is desperate to get off the unpleasant ride and move on. And yet another part of me knows the roller coaster can’t be avoided, and there is meaning to be derived from my emotions, worthy of being understood and acknowledged rather than eliminated in a rushed attempt to alleviate my suffering.

During a recent dip, I recognised I was secured in my roller coaster seat and unable to get off mid-ride, so I would be better served by accepting what was. I decided to sit with my emotions and observe what they were and what was triggering them. I wrote it all out, for completeness and clarity. I pondered the symbolism. What did each emotion represent? How could I honour the inherent meaning? Each emotion was about something deeper than what appeared on the surface. Anger was about asserting moral superiority in order to feel virtuous. Grief was about resisting what is. Anguish was about fear of the unknown.

Giving my emotions this space and permission to be, rather than judging and resisting them, gradually reduced their potency. Understanding their meaning made them feel valid and acceptable, even if not necessarily helpful, and therefore less painful to feel. Sweet relief.

It was only then I was truly ready to transcend my negativity and suffering, and transmute it into healing.

I recognised we’re all living within an internally created story of the global situation. An illustration of this point came to me in the form of this video,¹⁷ a coronavirus themed parody of the well-known children’s story book “Where is the Green Sheep?” by Mem Fox. From what I’ve observed via social media comments, it seems there are two main interpretations of this story (though there are no doubt more). To some, it’s a cute representation of our current experience of life amidst the pandemic, the green sheep representing the hero scientists, hidden away in their labs developing the vaccine that will end the crisis. To others, it symbolises a sheep-like mentality of the masses who are seeking a saviour. Same story, different interpretations. People often don’t realise there is more than one way to interpret a story; with blinkers on, they only see the version that aligns with their views. I’m fairly certain even the makers of this video didn’t perceive the subtext they’d created, hidden in plain sight.

I love to be precise with my words; the dictionary and thesaurus are my friends, etymology intrigues me, and I’ll gleefully be magniloquent¹⁸ if I feel it’s justified! Also, as is no doubt obvious, analogy and symbolism turn me on, they are my language. I don’t even care I’m guilty of mixing my metaphors, I love the magic they conjure through painting a clearer picture of the essence of what I’m attempting to convey. Whilst we don’t necessarily think of them as such, words are, in fact, symbols used to transmit meaning. A word is a meaningful group of symbols (letters and corresponding sounds) that represents a thing or concept, and learning language is learning to decode the meaning inherent within these groups of symbols.

Inspired by other thoughts on the symbolism of the global situation,¹⁹^,2⁰ it occurred to me I could create my own more positive story from my personal perspective. I could redefine how I perceive this whole state of affairs and create a new positive vision and narrative that would serve me. I could apply my own brand of nominative determinism to coronavirus.²¹

Please note: in no way do I intend, through this reframing, to disregard or downplay the tragedy of each individual death, the grief of loved ones left behind, the challenges faced by those suffering with severe cases, the commitment, efforts and caring of the healthcare workers, or the suffering of the multitudes of humans who have been affected in a variety of ways by this entire situation. There are fellow human beings experiencing utter devastation as a result of coronavirus, and my heart aches for them. I acknowledge my suffering barely even begins to approach that which others have experienced, and I am incredibly grateful for my blessings and the privileged circumstances I find myself in. One person’s suffering doesn’t discount another’s; I honour all experiences, and I look towards the light from which these shadows have been cast, as a means of healing all suffering.

Corona: Derived from the Latin, corōna, meaning garland or crown. In anatomy, the word describes the crownlike upper portion of a body part or structure, such as the top of the head. Corona is also used to describe a crownlike appendage. Other dictionary definitions describe a corona as a circle (or set of concentric circles) of light around a luminous body, a halo, or a luminous ring around a celestial body such as the sun.²²

Virus: Derived from the Latin, vīrus, meaning slime or poison. A virus is an ultramicroscopic infectious agent, not considered to be a living thing in the conventional sense. Virus is also defined as a corrupting influence, including on morals or intellect. In computer science, it’s a self-replicating program that damages or shuts down computer operations, systems or networks.²³

So, what is coronavirus from my newly defined perspective?

The corona definitions bring to my mind the crown chakra – the seventh centre of the body’s energy field, located at the crown of the head, perceived by those who see energy as a luminous circle or sphere of violet light. As such, I’m choosing to see coronavirus as contagious ascension. It’s a global healing occurring through a corrupting influence on the morals (or lack thereof) and intellect that are at the root of the self-destruction of humanity. This influence is driven by ascension into the crown chakra where one connects with inherent divinity and oneness. With every individual who claims this evolution, the resultant ripple effect is the infection of others through the higher vibrations being generated, healing all and shutting down the outdated and destructive paradigms now rendered obsolete as we experience this new way of being.

That’s a contagion I welcome with open arms.

So why does this matter? What relevance does my personal perspective, intentionally chosen, have for the lived reality of what is playing out in the world?

Before I begin to answer that question, I think it’s important to consider who’s asking it. I imagine you fall into one of three categories:

You’re nodding your head in eager agreement as you read my words, because you and I are like-minded, and that’s what drew you here in the first place. You’re fully onboard with redefining your perception of 2020 and coronavirus (if you haven’t already), and you recognise the hidden, deeper and more profound impact of conscious intentionality. You already know why this matters.
You catch my drift, and you think it’s a cute idea, but you’re not certain this is quite the sort of thing that floats your boat. You’re open to pondering it for a bit, and you’ll consider giving it a whirl, but you’re not fully committed and there’s a good chance you’ll forget about the whole concept after a while.
You’re not entirely sure how or why you made it this far through reading, because this woman who identifies simultaneously as a black sheep, a warrior and a star is a bit too woo-woo for your liking. You dwell in reality, and this redefinition business sounds like crazy talk.

Given you’ve come this far, don’t let any differences between you and I put you off. My intention is to offer you something of value that makes meaningful sense in your world. Your new story doesn’t need to be as flowery or esoteric as mine. I’ll attempt to clarify the idea as logically as I possibly can, with real life examples of how the concept plays out in everyday life.

There are multiple realities

When we look at the world, we believe what we see is unquestionable evidence of reality. Ponder then, what we see is a function of the design of our organs of sight; our eyes. Other animals, with differently designed eyes, have different sight perception to humans; when looking at the same thing, what they see is a different reality to what we see.²⁴ Additionally, various imaging technologies can show us what we cannot perceive with the naked eye. Therefore, it’s incredibly presumptuous to assume our version of what we see with our human eyes is the only true reality. Instead of confining ourselves to our automatic perception of what we assume is reality, we can rewrite the story of our reality by selecting an alternate way of viewing.

Your perception may be incomplete

Horses are sometimes made to wear blinkers, intended to control and narrow their focus to keep them on track and prevent them from being distracted or spooked. What they can’t see is still there, but it’s no longer part of their reality. The fun animated short film Snack Attack²⁵ beautifully illustrates how easily we can forget there’s potentially something we haven’t seen when our focus is narrowed, and the consequences of such, particularly in our interactions with others. It’s always worth asking the question, “Is there something I’ve missed?”

There is always a different interpretation available

The law is perhaps thought of as black and white, definitive, a set of enshrined rules, clear cut contractual agreements designed to ensure certainty. Legal experts are paid handsomely to draft painstakingly precise legal documents, the more complex ones in a highly organised fashion, with the intention of effectively eliminating any skerrick of ambiguity in meaning or potential for misinterpretation. And yet we all know legal experts are also well paid to argue the complexities in interpreting legal matters and their loopholes, often in lengthy, drawn out cases. This example highlights no matter how carefully we attempt to approximate perfection in communicating meaning, there is always potential for an alternate interpretation.

Which story is worth choosing?

You might be of the opinion overcast, rainy weather is unpleasant; you might even describe it as horrible. Consider the truth that a beautiful, sunshine filled day is happening concurrently with any given moment of inclement weather, except it’s temporarily hidden from view behind the veil of clouds currently spread across the portion of the sky below which you stand. You may well have a valid preference for sunshine, but you can recognise clouds and rain have their valuable and essential place in the cyclical nature of our environment. You have a choice in which story you live by, and my suggestion is you consider which perception is helpful, useful, and valuable; which one makes you feel better, irrespective of external forces outside of your control? When you feel better no matter the weather, you are better able to experience and create positivity in the world.

You can’t avoid challenges – and you wouldn’t want to

Please don’t be mistaken I’m suggesting it would be useful or helpful to ignore, deny or avoid anything that arouses discomfort or negativity within you – big or small. Recall I sat with my uncomfortable unpleasant feelings about the current global situation, intentionally allowing myself to find a way towards accepting them before I could transcend and transmute them.

Ponder the concept of driving from your current location to a desired destination some distance away. Your route will likely include a mix of 2 types of roadways: larger highways and motorways where you can surge ahead towards your destination with speed, ease and few hindrances; and smaller roads and streets that require you to make slower progress as you observe speed limits and negotiate your way safely through intersections, traffic control, and past pedestrians and various landmarks. To get to your destination, you need to traverse each type of roadway appropriately.

Similarly, in life, whatever your desired destination, you must recognise along with the free-flowing good times on that journey, there will also be times of challenge that arouse negative feelings. Attempting to barrel through, denying and ignoring these challenges in an effort arrive at your desired destination of good times sooner, is like ignoring all the road rules and speeding through the suburban back streets at 100kph – you’re pretty well guaranteed to come to a crashing halt at some point, wreaking chaos and destruction in the process. Avoidance of challenges can be likened to encountering an accident along your route and driving on by, hoping or assuming someone else is sorting it out because you don’t want the inconvenience of getting involved. This sort of behaviour has implications for those you’ve avoided, as well as your conscience.

Taking the time to negotiate the slower roads will ultimately show you they hold beauty that would otherwise be unseen in the blur of motorway speeds. Accepting challenges are a necessary and valid part of the journey, that take time to be carefully traversed, means a slower journey, but your patience will ensure you arrive at your destination in one piece, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Sometimes, road accidents are unavoidable, and we can wind up suffering injury. At these times, we can’t just get up and walk away as though nothing happened; we might need emergency medical assistance, road clean up, car repairs, time to convalesce. The necessary degree of assistance and time to recover and get back on the road varies depending on the severity of the accident. Similarly, the length of time it takes to come to acceptance of suffering in life is often a function of the degree of intensity of the emotions involved; if you’re experiencing immense or overwhelming suffering, it would be unwise to expect you could wake up tomorrow with a brand new shiny perspective, ready to move on. Patience, and willingness to seek and accept help and support is key.

Learning and practising how to appropriately traverse challenges, through the acceptance that comes with finding a way to perceive them in a positive light, provides you with a set of skills akin to having a road map that allows you to plan your journey to make best use of the freeways, enjoy the slowed scenic portions of your drive, avoid unnecessary traffic, and have an alternate route up your sleeve should an unexpected road block arise.

If you relate to 2020 as the year from hell you’d rather escape and forget, if you relate to coronavirus as a disaster and something to fear or be angry about, what does that do for your mood? Your emotions? Your stress levels? Your health? How does that affect your loved ones? How does that impact your relationships? How does that affect the way you show up in your work and communities? Does relating in this way produce positive outcomes for you and others? Or negative?

Everything in our experience of life is subjective. The way we perceive our individual reality impacts our thinking, emotions, choices and actions in the world. These all have ripple effects, influencing – whether directly or indirectly – all that is. When we perceive our world from an empowering and positive perspective, our thinking, emotions, choices and actions are positively influenced. If we live in anxiety, anger or fear of coronavirus, we spread anxiety, anger and fear. If we live in trust and faith there are opportunities available within our chosen perspective of coronavirus, we spread trust and faith and opportunities. It’s a deceptively small step with mammoth long reach implications.

Andrew Holecek puts it eloquently:

“We are not the […] helpless, hapless victims of the world. We are the victims of our projections, our imputations, our hopes and fears, what we bring to that world … We can transfer that power back to ourselves, and realise that we are in fact the ones that create these versions of our hardship.”²⁶

The circumstances of your life are not always within your control – such as with many aspects of coronavirus. Lockdowns, mask mandates, remote learning, foiled travel plans, industry shutdowns, job loss, illness or loss of loved ones – the list goes on – these situations are largely outside of your command. Your supreme power lies in how you choose to experience these circumstances through the lens of your perception, to then impact your response and the resulting effect.

I’ve said it before,²⁷ and it bears repeating: opportunities for personal development, which have always been available but often go overlooked, are being thrust in our faces in 2020, as though some higher power is desperately attempting to grab our attention and initiate the next step in our evolution. The way I see it, it’s these most extraordinary challenges we’re faced with this year that present extraordinary opportunities to evolve.

Will you see your circumstances amidst coronavirus as problems, injustices, hardships, or battles? Or will you see them as opportunities and growth experiences? Perhaps you will simply see them as neutral situations to make of whatever you will. Whether you realise it or not, you’re the author of the stories of your life. And your story impacts the larger story of the world and all that is. It’s not about living in an imaginary fantasy land of rainbows and unicorns; it’s about crafting a vision, grounded in acceptance of what is, that sets the stage for positive, aligned action.

As Eckhart Tolle says, “You are here to enable the divine purpose of the Universe to unfold. That is how important you are.”²⁸ The story you are writing for your life is the story of the Universe. That might sound intimidating – no pressure! – but the simplicity is you have complete creative license. Realise it’s as simple as a change in perspective, and all you need to do is turn to face the light.

I for one intend to hold firm in my vision of contagious ascension, guiding me forward in my actions. I trust as I do so, global healing is becoming the pandemic that shifts the world into alignment.

Footnotes & References

https://www.behindthename.com/name/isaac
Campbell, R (2015) Light is the New Black, Hay House Australia Pty Ltd, p.13.
https://www.behindthename.com/name/rachael
https://www.behindthename.com/name/louise
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/warrior
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/courage
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/courage
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/courage
https://www.ancestry.com.au/name-origin?surname=barker
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/tanning
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tanning_(leather)
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/tan
https://www.ancestry.com.au/name-origin?surname=barker
https://www.ancestry.com.au/name-origin?surname=stella
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/star
Andrew Holecek: Perception Is Creation: Discovering Emptiness, Sounds True: Insights at the Edge podcast with Tami Simon.
Nash-Gilchrist, J. & I. (2020) Where is the Green Sheep Coronavirus Edition, video accessed at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zx5SuUejlqY
He he he – I learned a new word! Magniloquent is defined as “speaking or expressed in a lofty or grandiose style; pompous; bombastic; boastful.” Accessed at https://www.dictionary.com/browse/magniloquent.
Eisenstein, C (2020) The Coronation, accessed at https://charleseisenstein.org/essays/the-coronation/
The Truth Virus, Orgasmic Enlightenment Podcast with Kim Anami.
For the formal definition and etymology of coronavirus, see https://www.etymonline.com/word/coronavirus, and https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/coronavirus.
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/corona
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/virus
See https://www.nhm.ac.uk/discover/how-do-other-animals-see-the-world.html and https://askabiologist.asu.edu/colors-animals-see
Verastegui, E (2016) Snack Attack, accessed at https://youtu.be/38y_1EWIE9I.
Andrew Holecek: Perception Is Creation: Discovering Emptiness, Sounds True: Insights at the Edge podcast with Tami Simon.
The story of a law-abiding, confrontation-avoiding, people-pleasing approval-seeker who raged against the system, by Rachael Stella
Tolle, E (2011) The Power of Now, Hachette, Australia.

Featured image by Harry Quan on Unsplash

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A vision for what remains of 2020 and beyond

There are multiple realities

Which story is worth choosing?

You can’t avoid challenges – and you wouldn’t want to

Recommended Reading & Listening

Footnotes & References