As my journey continues, I yet again find myself on Struggle Street. Life feels hard. My mojo is fluctuating. I worry that I’m doing “it all” wrong. I quieten my voice out of fear that I’ll prove that my breakthroughs and highs were nothing but flukes, peaks on the never-ending roller coaster of life. I begin to berate myself for feeling as I do, knowing too well that I am truly blessed in this life, I’ve faced no tragedy, no trauma, no extreme hardship … I haven’t earned my right to suffer.
This is the point where things are now beginning to transform.
I remember that berating myself is a waste of time, a recipe for feeling progressively worse rather than forcing me to feel better. Negativity and forcefulness is never the way.
I remember that negative thoughts are a product of my ego. They are not the truth. I remember to notice them, and acknowledge them. I remember not to label them as good or bad – that is my ego tricking me again, masquerading as my higher self. I simply let them be.
I remember that struggle is a concept of the ego. I need not struggle. I remember to observe my thoughts, my feelings, my suffering. I remember that my ego makes them painful. I remember that I need not fight them, push them away, deny them. I observe them, allow them them to be, give them space, and accept them as they are.
I remember that surrender is the path to freedom. I remember that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, and my journey gives me everything I need to learn and grow. I remember that I can trust the entire process.
I remember that changing my energy will change my life. I realise that life will not suddenly become pain free – energetic shifts take time to play out in their entirety in the circumstances of life, and there is a lot of cleaning up to be done. The timeframe and sequence of these changes is not of my choosing, it is a matter of the divine. I now remember that struggling through the process is a choice, and that it’s much more enjoyable to go with the flow.
I remember that speaking my voice and sharing my truth, when done with love, is not only freeing for my soul, but also the way I shine my light in the world.
Image credit: I saw the wind and it hugged me, by Dee Ashley. Under license.
2 thoughts on “Struggle Street is not a Worthy Route”
I love this it speaks to me so much !!! Amativa is what the sutras call spiritual arrogance and that when we try to control we become attached in our thoughts. This attachment is only to guide us to the place you speak of seeing what is getting in the way the life time of building blockages becomes seen and it takes practise and discipline with devotion to ones self to just be with them
. Abhyasa is the discipline vairagya is non attachment to the thoughts and one will experience the truth of this moment the truth of your self moksha liberation xoxoxo love your writing come do your teacher training Rachel you should be a yoga teacher. 12 weeks and you can be qualified come do it at my school where I did it it will change you even more x
Yoga teacher training is something I have pondered a little … perhaps one day, but I don’t feel that now is the time. xx
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